


Picking Up the Pieces

by Lumelle



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-13 05:09:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13563522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumelle/pseuds/Lumelle
Summary: On an otherwise unremarkable day, Akutsu comes home to find that Taichi has been hurt worse than he could have ever imagined. Slowly, though, they can concentrate on getting him better.





	1. Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written and posted in 2010 on my LiveJournal account, posted here with minor language edits.

Akutsu first paused at the door.

There was nothing outwardly wrong with the door. No scratches, no marks, no signs of forced entry whatsoever. There was just the small scrape near the base of the door from where he always kicked it shut despite Taichi's repeated reminders that it wasn't a good habit and really Jin you should just stop. All in all, nothing should have caught his attention.

Despite the unremarkable condition of the door, something made Akutsu pause. He quickly concluded it was the little figurine lying on the ground as though forgotten. It might not have caught his eye at all if his foot hadn’t accidentally nudged it, making it roll aside. He recognized it instantly. Though he knew neither the character nor the anime it was from, he'd seen the figure hanging from Taichi's keys too many times not to recognize it instantly. There was no way it could have fallen without Taichi noticing, not at the spot where he have his keys in his hand. And if he noticed it falling, he would have picked it up.

Even before he tried the door, Akutsu knew it wasn't locked. It turned out he was right, his hand finding no resistance as he pulled at the door. Taichi would have never left it unlocked, not in this part of the town. No matter how stupidly trusting he could be at times, he knew better than that; Akutsu had certainly made sure of that at least. The door wasn't supposed to be unlocked. Not if Taichi had any choice in the matter, anyway.

Practically throwing the door open, he rushed inside. "Taichi!" he called out before he was even properly inside, a cold feeling spreading through him as there was no answer. Taichi was supposed to be home. He was always home at this time of the day unless he had called and told Akutsu otherwise, and there had been no call today. Taichi was home, of course he was home, but if he was home then why was the door unlocked like this and why wouldn’t he answer?

Akutsu was only vaguely aware of the mess in the apartment, their belongings broken or thrown around. He didn't pause to check, not considering such things important. Not now. Not when there was something far more important at stake. "Taichi!"

There was still no response as he rushed through the apartment, not that there was a lot of ground to cover. It wasn't like they could afford anything fancy with Taichi still at school and only Akutsu working full time. Nevertheless, it took him an eternity to reach the bedroom. The door was halfway open, it shouldn't have been halfway open, especially not with one of Taichi's precious notebooks lying under it with pages torn off.

The bedroom was small, small enough that it would have been impossible to miss Taichi, not that there had exactly been any attempt made to hide him. The younger man lay sprawled on the bed, one arm hanging limply over the side, unmoving. His clothes had been torn off his body, bruises and blood tainting the paleness of the bared skin.

As long as he could remember, Akutsu had been known for his lightning-fast reflexes and speed. Nevertheless, he was sure he'd never moved as quickly as he did now, rushing to the side of the bed. It never even crossed his mind that whoever had done this might still be nearby. He just needed to get to Taichi.

Kneeling down next to the bed, Akutsu carefully gathered Taichi into his arms, trying to draw the bloodied sheets around him. Taichi was completely limp and quiet, pale and unresponsive as Akutsu tried shaking him awake as gently as he could manage in his nigh-panicked state. However, despite all the shaking and prodding and his calls of Taichi's name, he got no reaction from his lover.

For one long, terrifying moment, Akutsu was sure the kid was dead. Then, however, Taichi shivered, face distorting a bit in a pained frown. It wasn't exactly promising, but it was still far, far better than his being dead. If he'd been dead, Akutsu would have never forgiven himself for failing to protect him. Hell, he'd never forgive himself for this, either. Protecting your lover was the basic duty of a man. Even the worst thugs knew as much. If you couldn't even protect the one you slept with, you weren't much of a man at all.

And Akutsu had failed Taichi.

Okay. Time to be rational, now. Sure, it was usually Taichi's area of expertise, but then Taichi was obviously incapacitated right now so it came down to Akutsu to do the logical thing. However much it hurt his pride to admit it, he couldn't help Taichi right now. He had no way of telling what was wrong with the younger man — though he could take a few educated guesses, none of which were very pleasant — never mind treating him in any proper capacity. He had to get help, and he had to get it soon.

Shifting Taichi in his arms, he started prying the cell phone from his pocket.

Like hell was he going to let go before he absolutely had to.

*

They suspected him. Of course they suspected him. From the first glance they took at him they were sure this was just a particularly bad case of domestic abuse gone too far. Akutsu bore their gazes, indifferent. He was used to such gazes by now, had been dealing with them since he'd been just a kid. It didn't matter what they thought of him as long as they helped Taichi.

He wanted to be with Taichi in the ambulance but he couldn't go yet, not while the police were still questioning him. For a moment he almost wondered why he'd called them in the first place, it must have been the ever reasonable voice of Taichi in his head, but he suspected the ambulance crew would have called them on him if he hadn't done so himself. Besides, well, there had been a crime. Someone had broken into their apartment and hurt Taichi. It was the job of the police to solve crimes, right? So they should have been doing that instead of hounding him.

It took a call to his workplace and the paramedics' assessment of Taichi's injuries to convince the police he couldn't possibly have been present at the time the injuries were caused. This made them let up at least a bit, turning the focus of the questions from his alibi to what had happened. It wasn't until now that he actually took a moment to see if something was missing in the mess of a home that Taichi usually went to great pains to keep clean. There wasn't that much gone, mainly some electronics, small enough to carry and easy to turn into money. Taichi's laptop had at least gone unnoticed, tucked under the bed the night before as Akutsu had finally convinced him to put it away and go to sleep. It was a small comfort, but it was something.

It was sickening to see the police fussing all over the messy apartment, taking pictures and marking things, gathering evidence this and evidence that. The bloodied bed sheets apparently qualified. Akutsu tried not to think about what kind of evidence they expected to find from those.

After what seemed like an eternity they finally let him go, though not before some fairly ominous comments about how they would still have some questions for him. He ignored them. They could ask any number of questions they wanted once he'd made sure Taichi was all right. Well, as all right as he could be, given the circumstances. The best Akutsu dared hope for was making sure Taichi would live. The thought wasn't exactly much of a comfort.

He thought back to the moment he'd found Taichi, the one cold, terrifying moment during which he'd been almost certain he'd lost the one damn thing that made his life worth living, and felt nausea rising within him.

It only got worse when he realized it wasn't entirely guaranteed he hadn't lost him, yet.


	2. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akutsu hates hospitals, but he hates even more seeing Taichi hurt.

Akutsu hated hospitals.

Of course, to find him harbouring negative feelings towards something was hardly all that shocking. Some might have even claimed it would have been easier to list the things he didn't hate than the ones he did. Akutsu himself wouldn't comment on such claims; what they thought about him didn't matter much, and besides the language he would have used in response would have made Taichi yell at him, the brat. However, he had no problem with admitting that he hated hospitals.

There were many things that factored into his dislike of the place. He hated the smells, the lights, the apparent attempts to close all the unpleasant things in life behind sterile white doors so nobody would be forced to see them. He hated the thought of pain and death and sickness, all harnessed inside clean little rooms to entrap people and their problems alike.

He hated the thought of Taichi lying in a bed that was entirely too big for him, looking even smaller and frailer than he usually was, pale and unconscious and attached to an IV. It made Akutsu feel helpless, knowing he was absolutely powerless to do anything about it. He hated feeling helpless, especially when it came to Taichi. His Taichi. His Taichi, whom he should have been able to protect. Had sworn to himself he'd protect.

He had failed to keep his promise, and because of that, Taichi was in pain. Because of him.

A big part of him wanted to light up, but the nurses kept giving him dirty glares whenever he tried to reach for his pack, and while he hardly cared about their opinions he couldn't see Taichi at all if they got security to kick him out. After some deliberation, he decided to go outside for a smoke. It wasn't like they'd let him in anyway until they were done with whatever it was they were doing, and at least it would get him out of the damn place for a moment. That couldn't be a bad thing.

He'd just have to be quick. The last thing he wanted was for Taichi to ask for him and hear he wasn't there.

Even the weather seemed to agree with his mood, all dark and dreary, the clouds overhead reflecting back the lights of the city as afternoon slowly turned into evening. He blew out a cloud of smoke and watched it get whisked away by a bit of a breeze that was too weak to be called refreshing. The smoke dissipated soon, leaving no trace of its presence, opening space for another little cloud. And another.

Taichi always nagged him about his smoking, even to this day. One would have thought the brat would have realized by now it was useless. If years of complaining hadn't done anything to influence him, it was no use to continue doing so. Yes, he knew damn well just how unhealthy it was, thank you, now could they please move on to another subject? Besides, he highly doubted it was going to be the thing that killed him.

He always said that, didn't he. Whenever Taichi got too annoying about his smoking Akutsu would just point out he would probably get killed by someone long before all the smoking caught up with him. The kid always frowned at him and said it wasn't funny. Akutsu'd just laugh and say it wasn't meant to be.

It wasn't so funny, now. He certainly didn't feel like laughing.

Letting the butt of the cigarette fall down on the ground, Akutsu crushed it under his heel, imagining it was the head of the bastard who had done this to Taichi. It didn't help much.

The visiting hours were over, he was told as he returned inside, not that he gave a fuck. He wasn't here for visiting, after all, he was here to hear how Taichi was. Besides, he was sure that if he'd gone home, the kid would have whined enough that the stupid nurses would have begged for Akutsu to come and shut him up. Few things could be more annoying than an insistent Taichi. Akutsu should know. He'd dealt with the kid long enough to have gathered quite some experience.

Finally, finally someone came to tell him that Taichi was awake and all patched up and he could go in. He didn't know if the cops had talked with the kid yet, and frankly, he didn't give a fuck. All he cared about was seeing Taichi, now.

The nurse walked awfully slowly as she showed him the way. Akutsu wanted to tell the stupid cow to hurry up but he figured it wasn't exactly the best way to get her to actually take him to Taichi. Finally she paused at a door, knocking on it before she opened the door a bit, looking in. "Dan-san? There is someone to see you."

Akutsu didn't hear exactly what Taichi said in response, but he figured it didn't matter. He pushed the door properly open and stepped in, pushing past the nurse with little care. He was here to see Taichi, damn it, not her back.

It took him quite a bit of willpower not to simply stop at the door. Taichi looked terrible. Sure, he looked certainly better than he had earlier, all patched up and dressed in clean hospital pyjamas, but it was still a bad sight. The kid was still awfully pale, the battering he'd taken quite obvious from all the bandages and bruises and whatnot, looking even smaller and more fragile than usual tucked into the hospital bed. As he saw Akutsu coming in, Taichi pushed himself up into a sitting position, wincing as he did so. The little idiot.

"Jin," Taichi said quietly, a pained look in the eyes looking up at him. "I'm sorry... Jin-san..."

"Shut up, Taichi." Akutsu walked closer to the bed. "You've done nothing to apologize for." Always such a little idiot, taking the blame for everything and anything. Taking the blame even when he was the victim.

"But... I was such a coward. I just let him hurt me... I tried to fight him but it was just no good…" The brat looked about ready to cry. That wouldn't do. The last thing Akutsu wanted to do was deal with a wailing Taichi. Crouching down next to the bed, he pushed gently but insistently on Taichi's shoulder to make him lie down again. Taichi flinched at the touch, and Akutsu almost regretted doing so, but at least he lay down on the bed.

"I told you to shut up." Akutsu paused. "The doctors told me what was done to you." It had taken some rather insistent convincing, sure, but at last he'd managed to make it clear that yes, he did have every right to know what was going on with the kid. Taichi obviously knew as well, so there was no need to repeat it all. Whoever had attacked him had not been happy with simply beating the kid; there'd also been a knife involved, though thankfully only in the form of some minor cuts, no stab wounds or anything. Nevertheless, that would have given Taichi a very good reason not to struggle very much, aside from the fact that he was not exactly a big man.

Of course, there was more to it all, but Taichi probably didn't want to talk about that right now.

"...I'm sorry." Again that murmur. Taichi looked away from him, tears welling up in his eyes. Damn it. Was there no way to keep the kid from weeping? "I... I was just coming home, he came as I was opening the door and then..." His voice trailed off. Apparently he was unable to continue. It was just as well. Whatever he wanted to tell, Akutsu'd get it from him eventually. There was no need to push him too much.

"Taichi... I know." Had he paused to think, Akutsu might have been surprised to realize he was capable of using such a soft tone, but then, Taichi often brought up such sides in him. "The bastard had a knife. I know." Pausing a bit, he hesitated a moment before reaching his hand to grasp on one of Taichi's where it lay on top of the covers. The kid didn't flinch away, at least. Good. "...You're alive. That's what's important." Which was just about the sappiest thing he'd ever said, but it was also true. Whatever else had happened, at least Taichi was alive. Anything else they could deal with, he could deal with. He couldn't have dealt with finding Taichi dead.

"But... he..." Again with the damn waterworks. Was the kid not listening to him at all?

"Taichi, I know. I know what he did. But you'll be all right. You always come out all right in the end. You're just that stubborn a little bastard, aren't you." He tightened his hold on Taichi's hand. "You haven't let me get away, have you? You can do this, too. You'll get over this." Then, just in case there was still some confirmation needed that he had gone soft indeed, he added, "We'll get over this."

"Jin-san... you..." Finally, Taichi at least looked at him, even if it was with teary eyes. The look on his face made Akutsu feel sick in a whole new way. Had the kid actually thought so lowly of him? "You... don't hate me?"

"Fuck it, Taichi, don't be an idiot." He reached a hand to touch the side of Taichi's face, the pad of his thumb catching a tear on the pale cheek. Taichi looked like he might draw away for a moment, but then stayed still. "I don't hate you. I’m not sure I ever could. If there was the slightest chance that I might hate you, I wouldn't have stuck around this damn long. That also means I don't give a damn what some stupid little fucker did to you to feel a bit better about himself." He looked Taichi directly in the eye, doing his best to sound as reassuring as he could. He wasn't very good at such things, but damn it, he was going to at least try. "You're mine, all right? And I'm a selfish bastard, you should know that much by now. I'm not giving you up just because you were hurt. ...Especially when you're hurt." He pushed a lock of blue-black hair behind Taichi's ear. "You're mine."

"But I'm filthy," Taichi sniffled. "I'm a filthy little coward... I couldn't fight him off..."

"Wasn't your fault. Never your fault." He had a feeling it wouldn't be easy, getting through to Taichi; the kid had gone through quite a shock, after all. Didn't mean Akutsu was about to stop trying, though. "You're the fucking victim here, Taichi. You're the one who's in pain. How could any of it be your fault?"

Taichi just looked at him, apparently at a loss for words.

Faced with the helpless, pained look in the eyes that were usually so bright and determined made Akutsu's chest clench rather painfully, too.

Damn it. He was going to put Taichi back together even if it killed him.

Nobody was allowed to make Taichi look like that.


	3. Distrust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akutsu knew Sengoku doesn't entirely trust him with Taichi, but he's still surprised to discover just what the other would believe of him.

Granted, Akutsu hadn't exactly expected Sengoku to thank him for getting Taichi hurt. For all that he grudgingly counted the redhead as belonging to the very small and limited group of people he called "friends", when it came to Taichi, Sengoku tended not to trust him any further than he could throw him, and Akutsu wasn't exactly a small man. Not that he blamed the guy for being suspicious. Akutsu had never hurt Taichi, not intentionally anyway, but that was the exception, not the rule. He wouldn't have been too trusting in Sengoku's place, either.

Even then, he had to admit he was slightly surprised when he met the guy in front of the hospital and the first thing Sengoku did upon seeing him was practically assault him. Akutsu hardly got a word out as he already found hands grasping on the front of his shirt, drawing him closer to a furious Sengoku. Suicidal fool.

"What the hell, Akutsu?" Sengoku spat, glaring at him. "I knew you weren't good for the kid, but I didn't think he'd end up in the fucking hospital!" His grip was rather tight as Akutsu tried half-heartedly to pry it off. Not that Akutsu was weak, but Sengoku had always been a power player. The muscles weren't just for show.

"Calm the fuck down, you idiot," Akutsu growled, refusing to budge one bit. "I'm not the one who hurt him, not that you care about what the fuck I say about it anyway."

"How the hell is this not your fault?" Sengoku demanded. "I saw him on his way home, he was just fine then!"

"And I found him beat up when I came home," Akutsu ground out. "If I knew who the fuck did this, I'd have already killed them, but I don't so all I can do is try not to upset the kid any more."

"It's still your fault somehow," Sengoku said, sounding almost like he was about to cry. "It was probably someone you pissed off, and you didn't protect him well enough, and fuck it you weren't supposed to let him get hurt you promised me…"

Akutsu paused for a moment. Then, he lifted his hands to Sengoku's again. This time, it was fairly easy to pry the grasping fingers open, loosening the grip on his clothes. "Yeah, it's my fault," Akutsu agreed quietly. "My fault because he lives with me and not his parents, my fault because I can't afford to take him to a decent place to live instead of that little rat hole, my fault because I was busy working when he got home so he could go to school and not worry about what we're going to fucking eat tonight. Yes, it's my damn fault, but it's because I'm selfish enough to want him for myself and drag him down to my level, not because I'm actively hurting him."

"Then you should have let him go," muttered Sengoku. "The kid deserves better than being your little housewife."

"You think I don't fucking know that?" Akutsu spat out. "You think I haven't told him a thousand times to get the fuck away from me before it's too late? He won't listen to me, he never does. He just fucking smiles and shakes his head and goes on like I hadn't said a damn thing." Taichi always gave him that look, too. That same damn look he'd been giving Akutsu ever since middle school, the big eyes and innocent little smile and the way he tilted his head to the side just so and damn it just thinking about it made him remember what Taichi had looked like when he'd come home and found him. Blood and bruises just didn't belong on that face.

"Akutsu." Sengoku's tone was serious, prompting him to look up. "How… how bad is it? He… Dan-chan, that is."

"It's… bad." Akutsu sighed, running a hand through his hair. Damn, but he needed a smoke. "He got beat up pretty bad. The fucker who did this did his best to hurt the kid, probably fucking enjoyed it. Broken bones, bruises, cuts, the works." Taichi had been raped and beaten and scared to death, and he never was scared, not even of Akutsu, the kid was never afraid of Akutsu but now he was fucking terrified. Someone had forced his way into Taichi's home, Taichi's life, broken and torn open things that should have always been safe, ruined him in unforgivable ways. But that wasn't his place to say, not to Sengoku, not to anyone. It was Taichi's right to decide who knew or didn't know all of what had happened to him.

"Damn." Sengoku shook his head. "He probably can't even play for a while."

As far as Akutsu was concerned, tennis was pretty much the last thing on any list of matters of importance, but he knew the other idiots and especially Taichi himself didn't see it quite like that. Therefore, he just gave Sengoku a non-committal grunt and a shrug in response. He then looked at Sengoku properly. The redhead seemed to have calmed down a bit, or at least he didn't seem about to attack Akutsu again. That was a step forward. Not that Akutsu was very worried about getting hurt, but he knew Taichi wouldn't really appreciate having to watch them fight. "You think you can go see the kid without flipping out again? Say what the fuck you want about me, but I'm not going to let you freak him out. He's not exactly in the best frame of mind at the moment, so no fucking arguments in front of him, got it?"

"Right." Sengoku sighed. "It's just not right at all. He's the last person in the world this should ever happen to."

"You think I don't fucking know that?" Akutsu looked him in the eye, feeling unusually honest for a second. "It’s why I've told him to stay away from me, but he just won't take a fucking hint. I'm bad news, and he's far better than I could ever deserve. But, hell, what are you going to do? He's even more stubborn than he's saintly, you know that as well as I do. He deserves a nice, carefree life with a stellar career and a dog in the front yard and two kids smiling just as stupidly as he does, but he's a fucking idiot and instead goes for me and a screwed up little life staying in a hole where some fucker waits for him to come home and open the damn door for the bastard."

"But that's not fair," Sengoku murmured. "It shouldn't be like that."

"Here's a newsflash, ginger: Life is not fucking fair. It finds the worst ways to fuck us over, and then it does it hard." Whether he liked to admit it or not, finding Taichi hurt was more painful to Akutsu than if he'd been the victim himself. "Not a damn thing we can do about it, though, except clean up afterwards and hope the next hit will miss. This time it chose a particularly unfair target, but that's not exactly newsworthy, either." He shrugged. "So. Ready to go see the kid?"

Sengoku's expression wavered, then finally settled to something mainly resembling a smile, however twisted it might have been. "…Lead the way."


	4. Hold Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they discuss their next move, Taichi misinterprets Akutsu's words in the worst way, but finally they can agree on a temporary solution.

Sengoku was perhaps the first visitor, but he was certainly not the last. Friends and classmates showed up at regular intervals throughout the visiting period now that the word had gotten out, asking when Taichi'd be back to school or tennis or whatever. The tennis regulars all came at once, only barely fitting into the room, concerned about his playing. They seemed rather upset to hear the kid wouldn't be playing for a while thanks to a broken arm, but then Taichi himself was upset about that, too. His family showed up too, all worried and concerned, and though Taichi's mother was too much of a lady to attack Akutsu like Sengoku had done her glares were certainly even more vicious until Taichi had cleared everything up two or three times. Akutsu himself just kept an eye on all the chaos, constantly on alert for any signs of Taichi getting too tired to handle all of it, pushing him back when he tried to sit up, glaring at the idiots who got too loud. Sure, it probably made him seem like a jerk most of the time, but then he'd never denied being one.

Somehow the kid kept smiling more or less throughout it all, not exactly as cheerful as usual but still clearly positive, damned if Akutsu knew how he did it but somehow he managed to keep a smile on his face. It was still there as Akutsu finally snapped and ushered the rest of them out — Taichi's sister was just as stubborn as the brat himself and twice as annoying besides — and closed the door after them.

Finally, though, everyone was gone aside from Taichi himself and Akutsu, and though the kid still appeared to be smiling Akutsu could see just how strained the expression was.

"They're all gone now, you know," he said quietly, leaning against the door. "You don't have to fake it anymore."

Taichi sighed, the smile fading. "I lied to them, Jin," he murmured miserably. "I told them I'm fine but I was lying to all of them."

"It wasn't a lie, you just jumped ahead," Akutsu replied, shrugging. "You're going to be fine. You always are. It's just going to take you a little while to get there, that's all." At least that was what he tried to believe, more desperately so than he would have liked to admit.

"But I'm broken, Jin," Taichi murmured. "I'm broken and shattered and I don't know how to put myself back together anymore."

"That's what we are here for, Taichi," Akutsu reminded him. "Maybe we failed to protect you, but at least we're damn well going to stick around to help you pick up the pieces." Not that it was enough, nowhere near enough, but it was all he could do right now, much though he hated himself for being so damn helpless.

"I just… I just don't know what to do desu," Taichi said, hugging himself. "I just want to get out of here. But then I think of… of going home, and…" He swallowed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't you fucking say that." Akutsu shook his head, walking to the side of Taichi's bed. "You were attacked on the doorstep. Of course you'd feel sick about going back."

"But… but then what am I supposed to do?" Taichi asked miserably. "I hate being here… hate being so hurt and vulnerable… but if I can't even think about going home, how am I supposed to feel safe?"

"…Taichi." Sitting in a chair next to the bed, Akutsu reached out a hand to grasp on Taichi's. The kid flinched a bit, but at least he didn't draw away. "You're not going back there. I don't care what you say, but you're not fucking going back to that place." There was no way he was going to let Taichi go through that. It was bad enough he had to live with the images in his head.

"Jin…" Somehow, he got the feeling the tears gathering in Taichi's eyes weren't exactly happy. "You're… throwing me out?" Taichi's voice was so small and miserable the very sound of it made Akutsu want to hit something.

"No, you fucking idiot." Sighing, he squeezed Taichi's hand in what he could only hope was a reassuring manner. "I'm not abandoning you because of this, all right? Even I'm not that much of an asshole, and besides I already told you I'm too damn selfish to let go."

"Then what do you mean?" Taichi tried to wipe away his tears. It didn't seem to work too well, so Akutsu helped him. "You… you just told me I shouldn't go back…"

"Because you just said you don't want to go back. And I don't fucking blame you." His thumb moved over Taichi's knuckles, hopefully soothing the kid at least a bit. "…I took Sengoku aside for a moment, earlier. He promised that after you're discharged from here, you can go and stay with him for a while. For one thing, his working hours are closer to class schedule, so you won't have to come home to an empty house." Akutsu'd be fucked if he knew how the perverted idiot was supposedly considered appropriate for a teacher, but the fact remained this tended to give him a fairly tolerable working schedule, at least compared with Akutsu's own.

"And then?" Taichi asked quietly. "I can't exactly live there forever desu…" Again the extra desu. The kid had gotten rid of it over the years; Akutsu had almost missed it, not that he'd have ever admitted it. Now that it showed up again, as though a testament to how vulnerable and small the kid felt, he wished he could have wiped the entire word out of existence.

"Obviously not," Akutsu grunted. "That's why you'll only be staying there until I find a new place for us to stay at." Somewhere nicer, preferably, somewhere Taichi could actually go to his door without having to fear the random guy in the corridor might have a knife at hand. It wouldn't exactly be cheap, but Akutsu did have a bit set aside, and when that ran out he'd just have to convince his employer he deserved a raise. That or find a new job, which probably would be easier, given the hard-ass idiot's general attitude. Of course, he did have the final option, but he'd really rather avoid it if he could.

"Jin… you'd do that?" The tears were back, but at least the little idiot didn’t look quite as broken this time. "I… I know it's not easy…"

"Hey. I fucking told you I'm not letting you go back there," Akutsu reminded him. "And I'm not letting go of you, so this is the only option left." He looked away, not knowing just how to feel about Taichi's intense gaze. "About the time we leave the hellhole, anyway. Wonder we've stayed even this long."

"…Thank you desu." Taichi's fingers curled around his hand just a bit tighter.

"Don't you dare fucking thank me." Nevertheless, his hand wasn't about to let go, just as he wasn't about to let go of Taichi.

Even if right now, holding on meant letting go for a bit.


	5. Sore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taichi isn't too happy about invading Sengoku's space, but it's still better than the alternative.

"Okay, kid. Ready to face the world?" Sengoku's smile was more genuine than forced, a feat Akutsu himself was rather unable to repeat as he looked at Taichi. Not that Akutsu was exactly known for smiling, anyway.

The kid looked even smaller than usual, the cast on one arm making the other appear even thinner, his face thin and pale. The clothes he'd asked Akutsu to bring were big and loose, making it appear almost as though he was trying to hide himself inside them. There was a rather unsettling shadow around his eyes as he gave Sengoku a pitifully questioning gaze.

"Are you sure this is all right?" He tried to sound carefree, Akutsu could tell as much, but there was a slightly hollow tone to his voice. "I don't want to be any trouble desu…"

"Oh, don't worry about it, Dan-chan." Sengoku continued to smile, though not even Akutsu could miss the slight flinch he gave at the 'desu'. So at least he wasn't the only one bothered by the resurfacing of an old, childish habit. "My place is small but you'll fit in just fine. It'll be a nice change to always being alone there, besides."

"What, so you don't drag women in every night?" Akutsu asked sarcastically. "I'm disappointed."

Sengoku huffed. "Okay, first point, I'm a productive member of the society, I don't have the time to go charming ladies every night. Second point, even if I did, I wouldn't be so rude as to do that while Dan-chan's staying over. See, some of us have actual manners."

"I've got enough manners I'm not single," Akutsu pointed out. "And stop worrying, Taichi. I know I said I dragged the idiot aside, but fact is, he himself volunteered to have you over before I could even fucking ask." If he hadn't known better, he might have been suspicious of Sengoku's intentions, but fortunately he knew the idiot well enough to know he only wanted the best for Taichi. Not that he'd have let Taichi stay over if it hadn't been so, obviously.

"Ah, thank you, Sengoku-senpai," Taichi murmured. "I really hate to be such trouble…"

"I already told you not to worry about it, didn't I?" Sengoku asked, chuckling a bit. "Hell, I'm the lucky one. I'll have you cheering up my day while poor Akutsu has to go apartment-hunting. The only downside is that he'll probably rope me in to do the moving."

"Of course. Can't have you take just the fun bits." Akutsu nudged Sengoku in the side, not too gently. The idiot could take it, anyway.

Taichi was awfully quiet the whole way over to Sengoku's place. Akutsu did his best not to make any mention of this, however unsettling it felt not to have the usual bubbling chatter filling his ears all the time. Sengoku was also wise enough not to comment on it, nor did he try to fill the silence himself, like Akutsu had half expected him to. All the better. Taichi was probably very much aware of his own silence; there was no need to draw any extra attention to it.

Sengoku's place was maybe small, but at least he'd had the good sense to clean it beforehand; it was in better condition than Akutsu had seen it even once since the time it had been perfectly empty and waiting for the idiot's things to be moved in. Taichi paused at the door, looking around warily as though he'd never seen the place before. It wasn't until he finally walked a bit further in that he noticed something familiar waiting for him.

"My laptop," he gasped, spotting the familiar bag and immediately going over to check that the computer was indeed inside. "But I thought… you said our stuff got stolen!"

"Not all of it," Akutsu replied. "Either the bastard didn't notice it under the bed or decided he had enough to carry already. Thought you'd like to have it."

"I… I thought it was lost desu." Taichi clung to the thing like a child onto a favourite toy, clumsy though his hold was thanks to the cast.

"I'd have gotten you a new one." Which obviously wouldn't have been the same, but close enough.

"I'm already too much trouble for you desu."

"Oh, fuck it, Taichi." Akutsu rolled his eyes. "I knew you were going to be trouble long before I asked you to move in with me. You think I didn't think things through then? Stop apologizing for every damn thing and concentrate on getting better. 'S all the apology I need." It was all he needed at the moment, period. However much of a sap it made him to be even thinking that, the fact remained that Taichi was indeed a very integral part of his life, and he didn't take well to such parts being broken. His life was fucked up enough as it was.

There were some more feeble attempts from Taichi to indeed apologize, and more assurances from Sengoku that it was all right, really, and more comments from Akutsu about how he should stop apologizing at last for fuck's sake Taichi, and how he'd bring along some more of Taichi's clothes and stuff once he got the mess at the apartment sorted out. Between Taichi lying in hospital and the police investigating the whole mess, housekeeping had been the last thing in his mind. Finally he excused himself to go out for a smoke, in as much as he ever excused himself rather than just do what he wanted. Taichi gave him a somewhat wary, fleeting glance, but he forced himself to ignore it. Surely the kid could handle being alone with Sengoku. If he couldn't, this was obviously not going to work at all.

As he returned inside, Taichi had apparently chosen to re-acquaintance himself with his laptop, curled up with it, headphones on his ears. For all that it was a comfortingly familiar image from home, Akutsu felt somewhat disturbed to see it now. Taichi generally considered it bad manners to shut himself out like that if anyone else but Akutsu was nearby, and now they were in Sengoku's place besides. He could have taken it as a sign the kid felt comfortable enough there to indeed feel at home, but sadly, he was fairly sure that was not the case.

Sengoku was in the small thing he called a kitchen, apparently working on something for dinner. As he saw Akutsu, he gave him a half-smile. "The kid seemed a bit anxious," he said. "I thought he might cheer up if he watched some anime or something."

"If anything cheers him up, it'd be a bloody miracle right now," Akutsu grumbled. He didn't offer to help Sengoku. For one thing, he knew that his skills in the kitchen were mediocre at best, a fact Sengoku was well aware of. However, after a good, long while of silence, he managed to force out a somewhat strained, "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Sengoku's smile was rather faint as he measured rice into the cooker. "I may not know the details, but even I can make some educated guesses, and in any case it's obvious the kid has been hurt worse than he'd like to admit. If there's anything I can do to help him get back together, I'm just glad to help."

"Trust me, you don't want to know the details." Akutsu glanced over to where Taichi seemed absorbed in whatever saccharinely sweet thing he was watching. "He was hurt. Badly. That's really all you need to know, unless he decides to tell you more. Hell, I almost wish I didn't know the details." Only almost, though. He needed to know if he wanted to help Taichi get better.

"You're welcome to stay over as well, you know," Sengoku pointed out. "Sure, it'd get a bit cramped, but I'm sure Dan-chan would prefer you here."

"I'm going to be here often enough as it is, I'm sure," Akutsu murmured. "Someone's got to keep an eye on the damn place in case the bastard shows up again." He paused, then added very quietly, "Besides, I'm not sure Taichi'd want me sleeping here right now." He wanted to at least sleep next to Taichi, to hold him close, to sleep knowing that nobody was going to take away what was his. Taichi came first, though. And until Taichi said it was okay, he wasn't getting too close, awake or asleep.

"I think that alone tells more than I want to know." Sengoku looked a bit ill. Not that Akutsu could exactly blame him. "He'll be all right eventually, though… right? I mean, this is Dan-chan we're talking about. Nothing can hold him back for long."

"I fucking well hope so," Akutsu murmured. He didn't know what he'd do otherwise. "Try not to upset him too much." Sengoku didn't say anything, but the look he gave Akutsu was all the reassurance he needed.

Taichi was going to be as safe here as he was ever going to get, however little comfort that might have been at the moment.


	6. Forgive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akutsu is convinced he will never forgive his father. However, given no other option, he may be willing to approach the man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my favorite Akutsu headcanon. >.>

Akutsu had not forgiven his father.

Of course, not even Taichi and Sengoku were aware he actually knew the man. He'd made sure neither of them would find out, either. The whole affair was not exactly something he wanted to think about, and he certainly got enough shit for being a bastard even without anyone knowing his biological father was actually a married man. They'd met a couple of times, never in a particularly amiable manner, mainly due to Akutsu's own hostility. He wasn't about to change his attitude, either. The bastard had gotten his mother pregnant and then abandoned her; the fact that he'd still given her money didn't make up for the crime of leaving her to bear the social stigma and the hardships of single parenthood all alone. For this, Akutsu had not forgiven the man, and most certainly did not want him to have any part in his life.

However, he needed a safe place for Taichi, and his search was turning up nothing. Therefore, after some time spent weighing his priorities, he now found himself glaring at an older man with eerily familiar golden eyes.

"You've never accepted help from me before," the man said, giving him a curious look. "Why would you approach me now?"

Akutsu forced himself to look the man in the eye. All this went against his pride, but at least he had the balls to meet his gaze. "Because it's not just about me and my fucking pride anymore," he said quietly. "There's someone else I've sworn to take care of, and I'm damn well going to do that even if it means coming to you."

"…A man must bear his responsibilities." He got a nod that seemed approving for what he could tell. "Very well. Now, care to tell me what you need from me?"

"Not a single yen, for a start," Akutsu said gruffly. It was the obvious demand, wasn't it, but he wasn't going to stoop that low. Just because he needed help didn't mean he was going to become a beggar. "I just need you to pull some strings for me. You sent your kids to fucking Hyoutei, you can't tell me you don't have any connections."

"That might not be entirely untrue." Gods, the man sounded like Taichi on a bad day. "So, what do you want me to do for you with my connections?"

"Two things." Akutsu raised two fingers to tick the points off. "One, I need to find a place for two people, somewhere relatively nice. Two, I need a job to pay for it. My current one pays shit all; I can't afford to take us out of the bad neighborhoods unless I find something new."

"You say two people. Would this be the same person you've sworn to take care of?"

"Who the hell else?" Akutsu met the questioning gaze with a defiant one, daring the man to disapprove. He wasn't ashamed of Taichi, damn it. "My lover. We're living together. He was attacked on our fucking doorstep; I need to find somewhere safe to take him."

"…A noble endeavour, that one." There was a pause that dragged on just a bit too long. Just as Akutsu was about to spit out just about anything just to break the nerve-wracking silence, though, the man spoke again. "I'm sure I can do something about your need for an apartment. As for a job… I refuse to help you find one."

"What?" Akutsu frowned. "You bastard, it shouldn't be that hard, how the hell am I going to even pay for —"

"I refuse to help you find a job," the man said calmly, interrupting him, "because I'm going to offer you one."

"…What?" Okay, that was definitely not something he had expected. "You mean… at the dojo?"

"Exactly." The man nodded. "One of our instructors is moving away. I know you are not well versed in our particular style, but I've heard enough to know of your general talent. I'm sure it wouldn't take much to get you to a level where you could teach the basics, and then work your way up."

"Don’t be an idiot." Akutsu frowned. "I can't teach shit to anyone, least of all some soft little kids who've never taken a proper beating. I don't have the fucking patience for that."

"Yet you are responsible enough to swallow your pride for the sake of your lover. I'm sure that you can find some patience within yourself as well, even if it's only for his sake."

"…It's not going to work." Akutsu shook his head. "It's fucking ridiculous to think something like that could ever work. Your youngest kid and I look similar enough when we play tennis. If I was at the dojo, someone would definitely figure it all out."

"…Jin." This would have startled Akutsu, had he been easier to affect. He was fairly sure he'd never heard the man say his name before. "Your mother and you have been hiding my mistake for well over twenty years. I think it's about time I carry that burden myself, both the secret and the risk of it being revealed."

"So, what? If anyone starts to suspect something, you're just going to confess to everyone you've sired a bastard son? You'll get fucking disowned for that. No reason for you to ruin your life over one thug of a brat."

"My father does have a strict sense of honour," the man admitted. "However, just like myself, I'm sure he'd rather see all my sons stand proud and bring honour to the school than let one of them lie forgotten because I made a stupid mistake in my youth." He looked at Akutsu. "Well? Do you accept?"

"I'd just fuck it up." No matter what the idiot said, he just did not have the patience. "And, hey, it doesn't really matter to me if you decide to ruin your reputation, but if the word got out, it'd just lead to me getting kicked out anyway, and then I'd again have nothing to go on."

"At least try it, for the sake of a foolish old man," sighed his father. "If it doesn't work out, I promise to indeed pull some strings and find you another place to work." He paused. "You said your, ah, lover was attacked. Was he badly hurt?"

"Badly enough he had to go to the damn hospital," Akutsu murmured. Even that was more than the man really needed to know. "And bad enough I'm not fucking well going to let him go back to that place."

"I will cover his hospital bill."

"The fuck you will." Akutsu glared at him. "I already told you I'm not taking a yen from you. I've got some savings, they'll cover the damn bill just fine."

"Savings which, I'm sure, you could find other uses for." Well, hell yes he could, but he wasn't about to accept anything from this man he didn’t absolutely need to. "…You are my son, Jin, whether you like it or not. You've never allowed me to do very much for you. At least allow me to do this much for the sake of the person who has made you happy."

Akutsu thought of Taichi. Little, innocent, idiotic Taichi, whose smiles seemed so fake now and who woke up screaming at night. Taichi who deserved to have nice things and a nice life without worries and fears, yet never seemed to get what he should have simply because Akutsu was unable to provide him with any such niceties.

He did have his pride. However, sometimes his honor came first.

Akutsu had not forgiven his father. He most certainly did not want the man to have any part in his life. However, just this once he'd allow the man to become involved, just so he could do more for Taichi.

Even if it meant working at the Hiyoshi dojo.


	7. Blanket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taichi's happy at the new apartment, but Akutsu's not quite as delighted when he hears about the nightmares.

It probably shouldn't have surprised him so much, really, that the man could accomplish in a couple of days what he had spent weeks on and failed. Granted, with the involvement of his father, the available budget had also changed for the better, but that didn't mean he was going to like it. However, the end result was the solution to his problem, so he forced himself to stay quiet and simply watch as Taichi moved about the empty apartment, peeking into this corner and that.

"This is great, Jin," the kid said finally, giving Akutsu an actual smile. Good. His smiles were getting far too rare nowadays. "It's bigger than our last place, and much nicer besides. And it's even closer to my university, too!"

"So you're fine with it," Akutsu grunted. It wasn't a question. Taichi generally made it very clear when he liked or didn't like something, and this was definitely a case of the former. Akutsu hadn't seen him this cheerful in ages.

"Are you sure we can afford it, though?" Taichi bit his lip, now, looking apologetic for daring to get so happy. "I mean, I know you said you've got savings, but this is still so much better… And then there's my hospital bill, too, and the insurance probably won't cover all the stuff that was stolen or broken, and —"

"Calm down," Akutsu interrupted him, a hand briefly touching the kid's shoulder. "I called in an old favour. We're getting the place without having to pay any advance, and the hospital's covered." That last one still stung a bit. His pride kept telling him he shouldn't have accepted, should be able to do everything on his own, but at the same time his sense was telling him that this way, he could afford to get other things Taichi needed that weren't as strictly necessary. "Besides, I got a new job. Pays better than the last one."

"Really?" Taichi blinked in surprise. "Where?"

"A dojo." A very particular dojo, but then Taichi'd probably figure that out himself sooner or later. He was a nosy little bastard like that, but at least he was Akutsu's nosy little bastard. "Gonna be teaching some beginners. Dunno what the fuck they were thinking when they offered me the job, but fact is, they did."

"That's great!" Another one of the smiles. This was going better than he'd hoped. "I'm sure you'll do really well, Jin!"

"Yeah, well, I'll try not to fuck it up." He needed a job to take care of Taichi, after all. "You wanna go eat out somewhere? We can celebrate the place and your results or what the fucking ever." The last STD test results had finally come. Apparently some things didn't even show until weeks after the infection. Thankfully, though, Taichi'd come in all clean. The kid had enough to worry about as it was.

"That would be nice." Taichi seemed to hesitate a bit, but then took Akutsu’s hand as they headed out. "So we are definitely getting this place? When are we moving in?"

"Yeah, definitely. And this weekend. Already got Sengoku and your team roped in to help." Not that he'd had to do much to convince them. It was sometimes useful to live with a guy who had plenty of friends. Everyone wanted to help Taichi, even if it was by hauling heavy stuff from one place to another.

"That'll be great," Taichi sighed. "Sengoku-senpai's been really nice, but he must be pretty sick of having me around by now."

"Ehh, it's Sengoku. We've had him over often enough that you wouldn't need to feel guilty for another month or so." Akutsu paused. There was something else he wanted to say, but he was afraid it'd ruin Taichi's good mood. "I got rid of the old bed," he finally blurted out. "We're getting a new one." Even he felt sick at the thought of sleeping in it, had spent his nights since the incident on a spare futon instead. He couldn't even begin to imagine how Taichi would have felt about it.

"…Thanks." Taichi's hand tightened a bit around his. "I… don't want to even see it desu…"

"Can't say I fucking blame you." He tried to think of another subject to bring up but failed. Thankfully Taichi himself derailed the conversation quickly enough, talking about his missed classes this and Sengoku-senpai that, and what do you think Jin could I come to the dojo when my arm's better. He found himself actually saying yes to the last question, idiotic though it was to do so. If anyone, Taichi could figure out the truth. But then, Taichi was also the once person he could absolutely trust with his secrets, should it come down to it. And, given everything that had happened, the thought of Taichi learning how to defend himself was pretty damn appealing.

They ate at Taichi's favourite place. Akutsu was glad to see Taichi actually eating his food; the kid had spent a lot of time after the incident claiming nausea or a lack of appetite. There wasn't that much mass in the lithe body for him to lose, so it was a relief to see he was starting to get back to normal in this regard at least. The kid talked a lot, too, not as much as was normal for him but certainly enough to make Akutsu satisfied he was making some sort of progress. Sure, they were far from being out of the woods yet, but it was a step forward.

Akutsu took Taichi back to Sengoku's place afterwards, once again reassuring Taichi he'd only have to stay there for a couple of nights more before getting into their new home. Sengoku asked him to stay for a little bit, and Taichi's puppy dog eyes certainly weren't making it easy for him to say no. They watched television, some stupid game show not that there was any other kind, and though there were moments when Taichi fell silent he took great pleasure in pointing out all the mistakes the contestants were making.

At some point, Akutsu realized Taichi'd been silent for a bit too long, looking over to his side. He found the kid's eyes closed in sleep, a messy head leaning against his shoulder. It was so damn familiar a sight he kept simply staring for a bit, just because it had been a while since he'd seen it.

"Poor kid must be exhausted," Sengoku murmured as he noticed what had happened. "He hasn't been getting too much sleep lately."

"Oh?" Akutsu raised his eyebrows. "Why not? And why the fuck haven't I heard of this before?"

"Nightmares," sighed the redhead. "He asked me not to tell you. Said you had enough to worry about as it was."

"The little idiot," Akutsu murmured, shifting his arm so it fell around Taichi's shoulders. "Never thinking of himself enough."

"He seems to be sleeping pretty peacefully now, though," Sengoku pointed out. "Probably just needed his very own teddy bear."

"I'm not some damn toy," Akutsu grunted, but nevertheless kept holding onto Taichi. If his presence was what the kid needed to get some sleep, well, he was in no hurry to leave.

He was startled awake later at night, the TV turned off, Sengoku nowhere to be seen. Taichi was still asleep, with his head in Akutsu's lap, a blanket thrown over him at some point of the night. There was a small frown on the kid's face, but at least for now, he was sleeping.

Akutsu let his hand sink into Taichi's hair and closed his eyes again.


	8. Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akutsu and Taichi try to settle into their new apartment and normal life.

Taichi had never been one to stay idle for too long. This was the case now as well as they were moving into the new place. There wasn't much he could do with his arm in a cast, but he was still hurrying from one room to another, making sure everything got into its proper place in the right order. Somehow he seemed to be able to keep track of everything better than Akutsu himself even though he hadn't been around for the packing. He'd also busied himself with helping Yuuki as the old hag had promised to feed everyone who helped out, not that Taichi could do too much with only one hand but certainly trying his best. Akutsu almost felt he was trying too hard, apparently eager to prove to everyone that yes, he was cheery and happy and all things all right, and if he flinched when someone got suddenly too close that was just their imagination, really.

Finally, though, the others left, and he was left with Taichi in an apartment that wasn't as much messy as it was just... unorganized. Everything was in the wrong place, or still packed up, or otherwise lost. He always thought they didn't have that much stuff, but there certainly seemed to be plenty when it all had to be transported from one place to another.

"...Let those be." Walking up to Taichi, he took a book away from his lover's hands. The younger man had been shifting them from a box to a shelf, one at a time, one hand pretty much useless for such a task. The little idiot.

"But we should get as much of the stuff on its place as we can," Taichi argued. "That way, it won't stretch out and take forever to get everything unpacked."

"You'll nag me into finishing unpacking soon enough." Not that he particularly enjoyed the sight of all the boxes, either. "Take a minute to rest, though. You haven't stopped running around all day."

"I'm not tired," Taichi protested, but let it go. He didn't resist as Akutsu tugged at his hand, helping him stand up. Taichi hesitated a bit, then tentatively leant closer. Akutsu reached one arm around his shoulders, not wanting to freak him out by seeming too restrictive.

"You're still injured, idiot," he murmured, the other hand reaching up to run through Taichi's hair. It was a mess, but then that was nothing new. "Try to take it easy every now and then, all right?"

"But I've done nothing but take it easy for a while now," the kid claimed. "I feel so useless desu..."

"Shut up, Taichi. You're still just getting better," Akutsu snorted. "Nobody's going to be any happier if you rush things and get yourself hurt worse for it. Sengoku's already mad enough at me, let's not give him any reasons to actually try to kill me." Not that that would ever succeed, but Akutsu'd just as well not get into an actual full-out fight with one of the very few people he might have called friends if forced to.

"I'm not going to get hurt," Taichi sighed, but nevertheless leaned into his touch, not trying to draw away. "I just... I want to get back to my normal life, you know? I'm just sick of being scooped up like some piece of glass that might shatter if someone breathes too hard. Sick of feeling like I need all that protection. I want to get back to my friends and back to tennis and everything..."

"Yeah, well, your friends sure don’t seem like they’re leaving you be any time soon," Akutsu replied. "And you'll get back to tennis soon as your cast is off. Back to your data before that, even. Would probably be for the better, too." He agreed with Taichi. He was also sick of this bizarre void of normalcy their lives had fallen into. There was no way they could hope for Taichi to get his mind back to normal if his life wasn't normal. "I'll start working at the dojo next week, so you'll need something to occupy yourself with anyway."

"...Right." Taichi gave him a small smile. "I'll do my best desu!"

"Just don't push yourself." Damn, he just kept contradicting himself, didn't he? "It'll be all right. Just don't freak out or something." He gave Taichi a soft gaze, the kind nobody else could manage to get from him. "It'll be all right, Taichi."

"I know." His voice really shouldn't have been so trusting. Akutsu had given him no reason to be so trusting. He'd let Taichi get hurt before, after all, not that he was about to let it happen again. "It'll be all right."

Taichi lifted one small, pale hand, touching the hand Akutsu had tangled in his hair, and though Akutsu was also damn well sick of all the carefulness and slow recovery and all the other shit, he felt like it almost might have been worth the effort.

*

"Okay, let's go over the rules one more time." Taichi nodded, looking at him seriously. "First, you feel unsure, you call or send me a message. I can always leave the brats looking after themselves for a minute." He'd made it clear to his old man that while he'd do his best with the job, Taichi would always be his first priority. The man had agreed to this, so obviously he'd accepted the possibility of some disturbances. "And I fucking mean it, Taichi. No playing coy because you think it'd be trouble."

"Ah... understood desu." Taichi nodded. "I think it'll be fine, though." Akutsu could tell he was still playing brave, but at least it was closer to genuine than so many times before. Close enough that he'd indeed decided to go to his classes again instead of hiding away at home. Good. The kid was certainly sick enough of staying inside four walls all day, and Akutsu didn't want to risk his losing his awfully stretchy but not infinite temper. When Taichi snapped, it wasn't pretty.

"Second, anyone gives you trouble, you tell me. About your arm, your absence, anything. I'm not letting anyone fuck with you over this." Not that he didn't think Taichi could handle an ordinary idiot all by himself, but then the kid wasn't always being entirely himself, nowadays.

"I'll tell you if it's something I can't handle desu." Which he supposed was the best he was going to get out of the kid for now.

"Good boy." Akutsu smirked. "And last, if you don't want to go home alone and you know I'm not here yet, you come to the dojo. Nobody'll care if you sit at the back, especially since I'm the fucking sensei."

"Ah... if you're sure." Little idiot. Like he'd force the kid to go home alone.

"Hell yes I'm sure." Deciding that the situation called for a little more reassurance than his verbal skills allowed for, he leaned in to kiss Taichi briefly. Pulling back, he gave the younger man a smirk. "Now go and make me damn well proud, all right?"

"I'll try my best desu." He got a small smile before Taichi adjusted the shoulder strap of his bag with his good hand and headed off. Akutsu looked after him, feeling oddly uncertain. It would be all right. Of course it would. Taichi was much tougher than he looked, and twice as stubborn. He perhaps wasn't very sure of himself right now, but he'd be all right in the end.

Akutsu wouldn't allow for anything else.


	9. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taichi is slowly getting better, though someone much smaller and hairier than Akutsu has his paws in it as well.

Akutsu couldn't even remember when he'd mentioned such a thing to any of his co-workers. He generally tried not to associate with them too much, especially those directly related to the family. The less contact, the less chances of anyone figuring out exactly why it was so easy for him to get down the family style so quickly. Some people said such things didn't run in families, Akutsu said fuck them. He'd already moved on to teach some non-beginner classes, which certainly was much less frustrating than watching little kids trying hard not to cry when they landed on their butt.

Anyway, the point was, he really didn't talk that much with the other people at the dojo. Certainly no casual chatter, that just wasn't his style. He could talk about covering some lessons or some advanced classes or whatnot, but he wasn't the type to gossip like some old woman. Therefore he was quite puzzled as to where the other teacher had heard him mentioning his vague plans, and especially why the man would have bothered to remember.

Nevertheless, somehow he had both heard and remembered. This led to Akutsu being surprised with an armload of slobber and fur and big, cheerful eyes. They'd taken a new pet, the man told him, only to realize his wife was badly allergic. They couldn't keep the poor thing so it needed a home, and Akutsu seemed like a responsible young man and Dan-san was so very nice, too, everyone just adored him whenever he came over to the dojo, and since Akutsu had mentioned something about getting a dog perhaps he would like to give it a home?

Well, yes, he'd thought about getting a dog. It'd keep Taichi company and maybe make him feel safer, and anyway he knew the kid adored dogs and Akutsu himself found them tolerable at least. It'd make the kid happy, and when Taichi was happy, Akutsu usually found his life to be less awful as well. He hadn't actively pursued the thought before, as that would have required effort and probably more planning than he could have hidden from Taichi. While he supposed he could have just told the kid, he preferred to keep any potential disappointments to a minimum. Taichi was much better now, yes, but he was still occasionally haunted by the memories, waking up in the middle of night from a nightmare that just wouldn't go away even as Akutsu held him close. It wasn't fair, and it hurt Akutsu as well even though he'd never admit it to anyone, and if there was anything he could do to save Taichi from any further suffering he'd damn well do it. Even if it only involved not letting him get his hopes up about a dog.

Now, though, it was no use trying to keep anything a secret, considering said dog was very real, very much there, and busily sniffing his shirt.

It took a moment for Taichi to pick up after Akutsu dialled the number. As he finally did so, a slightly questioning tone in his voice at Akutsu calling at such a time, Akutsu was having trouble keeping the phone on his ear as he struggled to keep hold of the furball. He finally gave up, letting it go down on the floor.

"I'm bringing someone over today," he said, looking down at the pup, who apparently decided it would be fun to smell his feet. "I need you to pick up some things on the way home."

"Ah, sure." Taichi sounded rather surprised. He supposed it wasn't that strange, really. Akutsu usually wasn't the type to bring anyone over, even less without a prior warning. Of course, this was a special case, but then it wasn't like Taichi would know that. "What do I need to get?"

"Some puppy chow and a bowl at least," Akutsu replied. "Already got a collar and a leash from his previous owners. I don't know what else we'll need, you know these things better than me. The damn thing's a boy if that matters."

For a moment all he got was a kind of stunned silence. Then Taichi damn near shrieked, almost breaking his ears. "A puppy? Really?"

"Yeah, really," Akutsu grunted. "Though I'm going to damn well reconsider if you make me deaf over it."

"But... is it really all right?" Taichi asked, sounding concerned. "I mean, a puppy is lots of work, and the landlord might not agree, and..."

"Oh, fucking relax," Akutsu sighed. "I checked the policy on pets before we even moved in. It's supposedly house-trained, you go on walks anyway, and I'm already used to whiny little things with over-sized eyes." Never mind that he'd really feel much better if he knew Taichi wasn't going to be all alone on those walks he insisted on taking. Akutsu couldn't go along with him every day, after all.

"Jin!" However, Taichi didn't really sound all that offended. In fact, he sounded rather happy. Perfect. Maybe this wasn't such an idiotic thought after all.

Maybe.

*

The silence that greeted Akutsu upon his entering the apartment was the good kind. It wasn't the ominous lack of sound that still sometimes pervaded his dreams in the deep of the night, but rather the usual quiet background buzz of nobody having any reason to complain. As he closed the door behind him and paused to take his shoes off, the silence was broken by a giggle, followed by a little bark. Lips twitching a bit, Akutsu headed towards the source of the sound.

For all his big eyes and ridiculous loyalty and the fact he was currently cuddling a very literal puppy, Taichi made a very good impression of a big, lazy cat as he lay in a sunbeam on the floor. There was certainly something very catlike in his smirk as he stretched, the puppy licking his face.

"Ah, Jin," Taichi said as he noticed him. "Welcome home."

"I'm home." Akutsu dropped down on the floor next to the kid, reaching a hand to pet the puppy's fur. If his hand also happened to slide over Taichi's fingers, that was purely coincidental. "How'd your day go?"

"Tolerable." Taichi smiled up at him. "And you?"

"Students were either brats or idiots, but then that's nothing new." Akutsu frowned. "Only tolerable, though? That's pretty pessimistic of you."

"Yeah, well, could've been better." Taichi's hand caught his, soft little fingers entangling with his longer, rougher ones. One would have thought Taichi would have more callouses than Jin, what with all his tennis practice, yet somehow that never happened. "Just, well... some unfortunate things."

"You freaked out." It wasn't a question.

"Only briefly." Taichi's smile faded away. "...Tennis practice. One of the players thought I was complaining too much and it'd be fun to grab me from behind and cover my mouth. All in good fun, of course." Grabbing from behind and covering his mouth. Exactly what had happened to him... then. No wonder the kid had freaked out.

"I'll kill the bastard." He wasn't completely serious, of course. Oh, he very well might have, had it been up to him, but he knew perfectly well Taichi would never let him do such a thing. Even if he asked nicely.

"Oh, no, you won't." Taichi’s lips twitched just a bit. "The captain already chewed him up for it, as did everyone else. Apparently you're not the only one with protective instincts."

"And a damn good thing, that." Akutsu reached his free hand to ruffle Taichi's hair. "I can't look after you every moment of the day."

"I don't need to be looked after all the time!" Taichi protested. "Some things are just... difficult."

"I know." Akutsu looked at him seriously. "And you're allowed to take your time with them. No use in rushing, you know. You'll just hurt yourself."

"I know." Taichi gave him a small, rather feeble smile. "It's just so... frustrating at times, you know?"

"Yeah." As frustrating as watching the most precious thing in his life get hurt and not being able to help. "Yeah, I know."

Completely unaware of the serious atmosphere, the puppy yawned happily and then closed its eyes, apparently falling asleep. Taichi gave it a soft gaze, his smile somewhat more genuine now.

Maybe, Akutsu found himself thinking, maybe they'd get through this after all.


	10. Fix Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even as time passes, not everything is all right. However, little by little, they'll get there.

It was just past 3 AM as Akutsu woke up, blearily blinking at the glowing numbers of the alarm clock in the darkness. For a moment he couldn't tell exactly what had woken him, somewhat disoriented from waking up at such a strange time. Reaching out his hand to the side, he expected to find Taichi there, curled up right beside him as usual.

The bed by his side was empty, the cool sheets indicating this had been the case for a while already.

Sitting up, he looked around in the dark bedroom. "Taichi?" he asked, not truly expecting an answer. Indeed, the only response he got was the puppy lifting an ear as though to listen, only to fall back into slumber again. Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, Akutsu pushed himself up with a grunt. Taichi was supposed to be in bed at the moment.

"Taichi?" Carefully making his way through the darkness, he peeked into the small living room. Taichi could sometimes be found there after a nightmare, curled up with a blanket, watching some mindless TV show simply to distract himself from the frightening images flying through his mind. This time, however, it wasn't quite so simple. The TV was turned off, silent in the dark room, and there was no sight of a curled-up shape asleep in front of it. With a frown, Akutsu continued his search.

The light under the bathroom door alerted him. Usually, this would have obviously been a reason not to disturb, but something in Akutsu's gut told him everything wasn't quite all right, here. Pausing behind the door, he listened for a moment.

The sobs were quiet and irregular but still all too clear even through the door.

For a moment Akutsu considered just rushing in, then decided to pause instead, knocking softly on the door. "Taichi?" he asked. "You all right?"

It took a moment for the sobs to subside, but finally, he heard a quiet response. "Ji-jin?"

Well. That wasn't exactly an answer, but the tone told him more than enough. Trying the door, Akutsu found it unlocked. That was all the encouragement he needed to open it.

The lights of the bathroom seemed awfully pale, casting sharp shadows wherever they didn't reach. Taichi sat on the floor, shoulders hunched, head hung as he cried. His back was to Akutsu, bare as usual at night; Taichi had decided somewhere around fourteen years of age that pyjama tops were useless and never changed his mind. Despite the trembling shoulders and the still audible sobs, though, Taichi himself wasn't what alarmed Akutsu the most. Well, not all of him, anyway.

Akutsu's attention was drawn to the locks of blue-black hair, strewn all over the floor, uneven and haphazardly cut. A pair of scissors lay beside Taichi, some strands still clinging to the blades. The younger man's head was now covered with uneven, messy strands, some bloody scratches here and there where his hands hadn't guided the scissors quite properly enough.

"Taichi," he said quietly, walking closer, the tiled floor awfully cold under his bare feet. Taichi had to be cold, too. "What's going on?"

"Sorry," murmured Taichi, flinching away as Akutsu crouched down, reaching a hand toward his shoulders. "Sorry... I'm sorry..."

"Stop apologizing, damn it," Akutsu sighed. As though they hadn't gone through this often enough. "What's the matter? Another nightmare?"

"Yeah..." Taichi shook his head slowly. "He... he pulled at my hair and..." He swallowed, unable to continue. "I just couldn't stand it..." He broke into tears again, shoulders shaking violently.

"Taichi... calm down." This time, his hand was accepted; at the very least Taichi didn't try to draw away. "You've nicked your scalp, see? Such a mess, here." He clicked his tongue, brushing some of the stray strands off the pale shoulders. "If you really needed to get your hair cut in the middle of the night, you could've at least woken me up." True, he didn't particularly like being dragged up from sleep, but at least it'd have been preferable to this quite desperate state Taichi had managed to work yourself into.

"But... but you'd have said no," murmured Taichi, sounding like he didn't quite understand what Akutsu was saying. "You always say you like my hair..."

"It's your damn hair." Akutsu let his hand lightly ghost over Taichi's head, just barely not touching, brushing against the ends of his hair. "Your call what you do with it. I'd rather give you a damn hand with it than find you crying and bleeding when you should be in bed."

"But I'm just being silly," Taichi argued. "It's not like he can come here anymore... right? Not outside my dreams..."

"It's not fucking silly if it makes you cry." The highest standard Akutsu had. If something could make his Taichi cry, it had to be a Serious Issue. "You think it'd help you sleep?" Gods knew Taichi'd had enough trouble sleeping lately.

The only response he got was a silent nod, followed by another sob.

"Then let's finish this." Akutsu knelt behind Taichi, reaching for the scissors. He was hardly a hairdresser, but at least he could do better than a half-asleep kid crying and trembling without even seeing what he was doing.

Taichi flinched at first but then calmed down, sitting still while Akutsu worked, somehow managing not to tremble too much with sobs even though the sounds continued. Akutsu wasn't sure how long he sat there, methodically going over Taichi's head again and again, mindful of the scratches and wounds, not wanting to hurt Taichi any more. Finally, though, he was done. It wasn't all that great, of course, he'd probably have to get it cleaned up still, but at least it was better than before. "There you go," he grunted. "...Probably still need a shower to get rid of the blood and pieces of hair, though."

"...Thanks." Taichi's face was still stained with tears as he turned to look at Akutsu. "I'm sorry... Jin..."

"Don't be, stupid." Akutsu touched the side of Taichi's face. "Let's just get you cleaned up and back to bed, okay?"

"...'Kay." Taichi let Akutsu pull him up from the floor, then carefully lead him out of his pyjama bottoms and all the way to the shower. He'd take care of the mess with the hair later. Getting Taichi back to bed was the first priority, now.

It was quite some time later that Taichi indeed lay in bed again, clean and dry and warm, the worst gashes on his head somewhat treated, eyes shut in exhausted sleep. Akutsu didn't even bother looking at the time, instead going back to the bathroom to fix the mess. He tried not to think too much of the sight of droplets of blood mixed with Taichi's hair. All that mattered was getting it all cleaned away.

Letting some of the longest locks fall between his fingers, he frowned. Sure, he'd miss running his hand through the midnight blue locks, but... if cutting it off was what Taichi needed to sleep just a bit more peacefully, then he had no objections. Taichi came first, here.

Taichi always came first, had done so for years.

Finally he was done, returning to the bedroom. Taichi slept more or less peacefully, curled up on his side, hugging a pillow to his chest. There was a slight frown to his brows but at least he didn't appear to be having another nightmare. Good. It made Akutsu feel helpless, watching Taichi be terrified even in his dreams, and he hated feeling helpless.

Drawing the covers further over the younger man, his attention was then caught by the whines of the puppy. Apparently it decided this was the perfect time to go out to pee. Grunting some form of a response to the dog, Akutsu put on some clothes. He wasn't about to go out in his boxers, sorry puppy, you'll just have to hold it in another five minutes. At least it didn't wake Taichi up, thankfully. The kid needed all the sleep he could get. Putting a leash on the dog's collar, Akutsu hissed another command to be quiet. Apparently it finally got through, as the puppy decided to fall silent for a moment.

Akutsu last paused at the door.

He'd be back soon, wouldn't he. Probably before Taichi even noticed he'd been gone in the first place. He'd be back and make some coffee to get himself properly awake, there was no point in going to sleep anymore, and he could probably try and scrape together some kind of a breakfast for Taichi before the kid finally had to get up to make it to his classes in time. Taichi'd apologize to him again, the silly thing, and he'd probably look strange with the shorter hair but at least he might give Akutsu a smile or two, and the puppy would be happy and lick his face as usual, and really life could almost feel like normal because every day Taichi was just that one bit better and one step further from the terrors he'd faced.

The puppy whined, reminding Akutsu that it really needed to go please let's go or I'll get the floor wet again, and he chuckled faintly and opened the door. They'd be fine, Taichi and he and the silly little puppy. He'd make Taichi fine, if nothing else, he'd do everything he could even if it meant being up half the night cutting off thick, blue-black hair.

And maybe some day, Taichi could sleep through the night without fear.


End file.
